Our hearts go out to everyone who has lost family members and loved ones in the Ferguson and NYC tragedies. While we do not believe that it is our place to weigh in on the court’s decision about the shooting and choking incidents themselves, we do want to comment on the aftermath of the verdicts and the responses they elicited from both the white and black communities.

We think it is important for Ferguson and NYC not to be thought of in isolation, but rather as two of many occurrences over the past several hundred years. We understand that the emotions triggered and demonstrated as a result of the legal findings in these two cases were a result of a long history of oppression towards black men in this country. We would urge White America to listen and ask questions of our African-American colleagues, family members and friends rather than to judge or criticize the behavior of a few.

We do not condone violence of any sort. However, we appreciate that built up feelings of frustration, powerlessness, and hopelessness can lead to violent behaviors. Our Relationship Dynamics TM Model clearly demonstrates that when individuals or groups are subordinated over time, they bury their anger and do whatever is needed to survive. When these feelings become overwhelming, they may see no other course of action than to lash out against those closest to them. All too often those “closest to them” are the people in their own community. We are not excusing this behavior, but we do believe that it needs to be understood in order to make it change.

It is time for White America to stop denying the reality of racism. Systemic racism must be addressed if it is ever to be eradicated. Years of oppression have never been directly resolved. The pain carried by the African American community is like an infected wound—its scab yanked off every time another racially charged incident occurs. Then, when African Americans demonstrate their pain over this reality, they are often met with criticism, condemnation and misunderstanding. This creates further pain and mistrust, and the wound never heals.

At Inclusity, we believe that truth telling, safe places for open dialogue, and commitment from all people to work together to end discrimination is the only solution. It is time for us to treat this wound with the care it deserves rather than allowing it to scab over until the next “Ferguson incident” occurs, and the same cycle begins again. Please join with us at Inclusity to create safe places for conversation, trust-building, and hope for a truly equal America.

In honor of LGBT Pride Month, I thought my first ever blog would be devoted to this topic, and specifically Transgender Awareness. I must admit that, although I have been facilitating diversity discussions for over 25 years, the transgender topic has not emerged very frequently until just a few years ago. As a result, I was pretty uncomfortable interacting with people who were in the transition process. Not surprisingly, I avoided close contact. Social distance in action.

Then last October I had the opportunity to facilitate a session on Transgender Issues in the Workplace at the 2013 “Out & Equal” Conference, in Minneapolis, Minnesota. With this opportunity also came a decision to make. “Would I continue to avoid and unintentionally exclude or would I face my discomfort and engage, in order to intentionally include?”  Those of you who know me also know that it did not take me long to decide to be intentionally inclusive – this is my life’s work and passion!

And therefore, I met some amazing individuals and had some enlightening conversations/experiences with people at all different stages of the transgender process. Here is some of what I learned:

• Transgendered people are (surprise, surprise) a lot like me! They are fun, funny, honest, and open. They want to be involved in meaningful conversations with people who value them for who they really are, and for the uniqueness they bring to the table.

• Individuals who have already transitioned (meaning that they have had all of the counseling, surgery, and support needed to reflect the gender that they innately feel they are) are super happy, fully productive, and living the lives they had always hoped that they would.

• Individuals who are transitioning (meaning that they are in the process of receiving counseling, may or may not be taking hormone treatments, and are often dressing as the gender they innately feel they are) want to be seen and acknowledged as the individual they are becoming. It really hurts them when someone calls her “sir”, when she is dressed in a skirt and wearing make-up. Please call her “miss” or “ma’am.”

• Individuals who are considering a transition need to be supported, affirmed, and unconditionally accepted for who they innately are and believe themselves to be. Frankly, doesn’t that really pertain to us all?

If you, like I, are interested in learning more about this important topic, here are two links for more information: Transgender 101 and Understanding Gender

By: Maria White, Founder and President of Inclusity, LLC | June 20, 2014